Jason Upton sings a song called Gideon, and I feel like it really expresses what I've sort of been feeling for the past few years. It's one that I come back to time and time again (and I like that it's based on scripture).
Sorry I don't have so much to say, but just listen to the song (the link's there) and tell me what you think. I hope it speaks to you as much as it has spoken to me...