I had quite the day today.
I woke up knowing that it was going to be “quite the day”… but I didn’t know quite what sort of day it would be. I started classes again today, beginning the final semester of my undergrad career. Everyone was back on campus… but really, I need to start earlier than that.
I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, and I woke up this morning tired. I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but I knew it was a bad idea, so instead, I grabbed my laptop and started praying (generally I type my prayers… it helps me stay focused and keep record of what’s happened in my life). I was saying to God that I’ve been feeling confused, that I don’t know what his will is or if I’m even supposed to know… everything has sort of felt like a mess lately. But if I can do nothing else, I just want to glorify him and honor him in everything I do and say. That was my goal for today.
So I left my house and started seeing friends and acquaintances and people I recognized all over the place. I LOVE that about my school, and about new semesters in general. It’s beautiful to see everyone I haven’t seen in so long, and to see the smiles on everyone’s faces (because no matter how much the kids complain leading up to the first day of class, their opposition can’t stand the test of seeing friendly faces they haven’t seen in a month, and walking around the familiarly secure campus on a sunny Wednesday morning.) It was a good morning.
At lunch, I went to the cafeteria (something I rarely do) with one of my best friends, and we met up with some of “the guys” there. [“The guys” make up a great majority of my wealth of friends at school. They’re great. Definitely still boys – I wouldn’t have it any other way – but they’re a safe place. They look out for each other and especially for the women, and I know I never need to worry when I’m with them. That doesn’t mean no teasing, but that’s part of the fun!] The guys spent lunch discussing football in impassioned voices while my girl-friend and I sat and listened. I think she doesn’t enjoy all that as well as I do, but I have fun listening to them all talk in excited voices. I think it’s just the passion I like; it’s contagious. At one point, I intimated that I’d like to understand the rules of football better, and immediately I was attacked by the crazed voices of four of the boys, alternately trying to explain and confuse me. (According to one of the boys, “That’s called a ‘sack'.’ It’s good for the defense, but bad for the offense.” He, of course, was referring to the game, but I felt just then that I understood a “sack” from personal experience.)
After some time, the conversation drifted to authority, submission, respect, honor, titles in the church… there was a bit of debate, but really not much. And after a bit, some conversation arose between one of the guys and me regarding a man’s and woman’s place in a marriage… ha. He said he’s looking for a “happy medium,” and he’ll know her when he sees her. That made me laugh.
I left a bit later and hung out for awhile with a couple of the guys. We shot some hoops on a door-back hoop in their dorm as we discussed what God’s been doing in our lives (especially over the break), and I thought about what an honor it is to be used by Him to do His will. I also enjoyed simply watching the guys engage with each other…
…which continued a bit later when I went down to the gym to meet up with a few of them and work out. I watched guys “spot” for each other, watching closely and helping when needed. I saw in those men a place of vulnerability: they don’t work out alone, but depend on each other, showing weakness openly when necessary, knowing that they won’t get in shape nearly as quickly (or safely) if they try to do it by themselves. It was amazing to me, to see how they worked together. Inspiring. I can’t explain the feeling that it gave me, but it reminded me of Aaron and Hur, in Exodus 17, when they held up Moses’ arms in the desert. (If you don’t know the story, check it out. It’s amazing.)
In between my observing, one of the guys – one of the most patient, protecting guys I’ve ever met – created a workout regimen for me, teaching me to do various exercises and use the different equipment, all the while watching out for me to make sure everything was ok. I can’t describe the feeling that brings, for someone like that to take time out of his own workout and help me (I who know fairly nothing about working out) and then for him to watch out for me and measure out the difficulty of each exercise based on what he knew I could and couldn’t handle. I felt so blessed and loved (and I know it’s GOD’s love that’s in him… not some strange ulterior motive).
So… I got home an hour or so ago and I’ve just been sitting, kind of soaking it all in. Just feeling good. My day went so ridiculously well… and I can’t imagine that that has nothing to do with my words and heart of dedication this morning, when I told my Father I simply wanted to honor him, even if I didn’t understand his will. He worked it all out.
Thank you, Daddy… Be glorified.
