Becoming a One Only

I was walking along a pier at Lake Michigan yesterday as the sun was setting. I had brought a blanket and a book, the water was calm, the sky was gorgeous, and I was alone.
Yes, it sounds like a fantastic opportunity, and yet something was bugging me. It was that last part: the aloneness.
You know, I used to be the type who had to be around other people. Loneliness was my greatest fear. If I spent even a day by myself, I felt like I was going stir crazy. About 3 and a half years ago, that changed, as I began taking jobs where I worked alone. I eventually got used to my own company. After a time, I found that I loved being alone. So much so, in fact, that I would neglect others in order to be with myself. I had successfully swung from one end of the spectrum to the other.
It was only a matter of time before I realized that, as there are problems with neediness, there are problems with independence. I have now come to the point where I feel that I have few close friends, and I have so separated myself from others that I no longer know how to build a healthy relationship. Beyond this, I have become lonely. So lonely. I fear jumping into a friendship because I feel I may go about it the wrong way, and I want to be level-headed about the whole thing, and yet I just want closeness with someone. What a tough feeling. What a hard situation.
The book I was reading on the pier is called "Tales of the Restoration". It is an allegory about the Kingdom. I specifically chose to read a chapter called "Safe Places". In that chapter, there are "Rules of Protection (from the Enemy)", as follows:
1. Whenever you live as a One Only, you are in danger.
2. Whenever the hum of the hatchet (the Word of God) becomes foolishness, you are in danger.
3. When you forget to keep watch for the King, you are in danger.
4. When you begin to keep secrets from your closest friends, when you find that you love darkness more than light, then you are in great danger.
Without going into deep detail as to the rest of these, the first mentions being a "One Only". The story defines this as "one who is often lonely".
I fear I have become a One Only.
I wanted to share these thoughts and feelings with you for a few reasons. First, you may relate. Second, you may have an urging to pray for me. Third, you are my closest friends (as mentioned in Rule 4) and I want you to know. Lastly, Father may give you some encouragement for yourself, others, or me through these words.
Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for your love. I'm still seeking Him...