I've got something to tell you. Oh! This is funny.

So, my birthday was the other day, as most of you know. I went to Red Robin for lunch, which is totally one of my favorite restaurants. The only thing is, I forgot that on your birthday they insist on singing that song to you while making you feel like an idiot on a table. (Because they make you stand on one.) So, I was kind of worried that they were going to turn me into a sniveling fool in front of the entire populace, and especially the grandma and her three grandchildren across the aisle. I was leaning over to my mother and whispering, "I hope they leave so that it's not quite as awkward..."
What do you know! They left. My mom took this opportunity to cheer me up by saying, "I'll bet there'll be some guys that come in and sit there, about your age, and you'll wish that the grandma was here again." And I was just kind of laughing, when 15 minutes later, here come four guys, dressed so smartly in their military uniforms, about my age, and they decide to sit right there, across the aisle.
Of course, my first reaction was shouting, "OH MY GOSH. That seriously did not just happen! What the hecka!" And my mom is over there smiling smugly and saying "That's just how it happens, I'm telling you. Every time."
So, I'm sitting down in my seat, and I do mean down. I actually considered slinking to the floor and crawling over to the restroom until they left. But of course, the waitress comes over with some ice cream at just that moment.
I guess God heard my prayers (some not-so-eloquent version of "let this cup pass from me") and she asked whether or not I would like them to sing, and of course I said, "NO WAY!!!" (actually, i said, "i would rather not.")
anyhow, that was the exciting thing that happened on July 28. I'm telling you, my mom is always right about things. It's almost uncanny.
I'm sorry about the grammatical incorrectness of this letter, and I hope I wasn't sacreligious in any way. I'm thanking God for saving my sorry hide from humiliation.
Bless y'all.